When we had the luncheon after Em's wedding I had a serious speech prepared but went for the lame one about sarcasm instead. With the miracle of modern blogging you still get to hear it.
Love, trust, forgive.
That really is the way the Lord deals with each of us. And it's a pretty good basis for your marriage as well.
When we love someone we sacrifice for them. We extend ourselves for their well-being. David O. McKay was the gold standard for watching over Emma and attending to her comfort.
Trust is vital in marriage. And that is really hard to do if you've been hurt deeply. But your spouse deserves your trust. Like it says on Audrey's wall. "Love like you've never been hurt before." Which brings me to the last one...
...forgive. Spouses disappoint. You disappoint. That's why we have repentance. God forgives us and expects us to forgive others. I'm not talking about putting up with abuse here; My point is that we all say and do some boneheaded things. We ought to give our spouse a pass, especially when no harm was intended.
That's it. Love, trust, forgive.
~Dad
2 comments:
Thanks, pop. That reminds me of something I read a couple days ago in the priesthood/RS manual, in chapter 29: "The man who willeth to do well, we should extol his virtues, and speak not of his faults behind his back." In other words, give credit for good intentions. It's interesting how the Lord works with that:
Alma 41:3
And it is requisite with the justice of God that men should be judged according to their works; and if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good.
The principle can work in our favor --
Mosiah 4:24-25
I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.
And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned
-- or against us --
Moroni 7:8
For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.
-- but what matters, in the end, is that our willingness, or our character, is what our Heavenly Father is trying to develop in us. And it's interesting that our family relationships give us the daily opportunity to choose how we will think and act toward others and, consequently, how we will be judged ourselves.
I think it's really amazing that marriage and family are the two things that serve the most to develop godly characteristics in human beings. They most definitely are heavenly institutions that can bring you the greatest joy and, at times, the greatest sorrow. But the joys make the sorrows worth while.
There's a quote on our wall by Goethe, "If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he could be and ought to be, he will become what he ought to be." When Robert and I were first married, I decided that I wanted to treat and respect him like the son of God he is. I don't know that I've been all that successful, but I think it's a good perspective to take on a relationship. Treat and honor your marriage and spouse like they are celestial and they can become that way.
Post a Comment