The red flash

Cute guy, brown suit, aforementioned rose garden, and the famous "red flash". A 1965 Dodge Polara owned by my parents. This was the car I used when I learned to drive (that and Dad's 1968 Dodge Truck).

The red flash was carved out of solid iron, then chromed over to add a little weight. Even the radio knobs were chrome. Although I never tested the theory, those dashboard parts were designed to puncture the flesh on impact.

All these rubberized surfaces, air bags, and shoulder belts are for sissies. Real men drove cars like the Dodge Polara.

I had one very interesting experience with the red flash. Before there was Susan, there was one date with Cindy. Cindy's dad was a stake president out in Murray. (What was I thinking?) She came in to the restaurant one night, I thought she was cute, and Susan knew her. So she introduced her and I asked her out on a date.

We went to the movies (Omega Man, I think.) I took her home and headed back north to Salt Lake. Well, in some towns they don't put the storm sewers under the road. Instead they make gutters in the intersections; deep dips in the road; the inverse of speed bumps if you will.

So I'm driving down this street in the dark, miss the stop sign, and head into the dip in the road at 35 mph. It sounded really crunchy under the car but the engine was still running so I decided to keep driving.

In about 30 seconds the engine started to tick and a red light came on. I pulled over and turned off the car. I looked back to see a ribbon of oil marking my trail.

It is really hard for a 16-year-old to call his dad at midnight. It's even harder to tell him the car no longer works because you are an idiot.

But Dad got out of bed and drove out to Murray to pick me up. I suppose from his point of view, this was not the worst phone call he'd ever received, but he acted plenty serious to me. The car would have to be towed.

And he made me pay for the tow and the welding they had to do on the oil pan. The whole thing was $50-60 (unless they subsidized it and didn't say anything). I was working, making $1.65 an hour (around 1970) but I was glad to pay it.

The red flash would see many more good times before it was replaced a couple of years later by a green Ford with a trunk so deep you could fill it with water and use it for a diving pool.