To act...or be acted upon

From Life 101:
Accountability
To the degree the events of the world happen to us, we are powerless pawns in a game of chance. The most we can do is hope, have lots of insurance, and buy emergency food supplies.

To the degree we know that we have something to do with what happens to us, we gain authority, influence, and control over our lives. We see that by changing our attitudes and actions, we can change what happens to us.

In a word, we become accountable.

When something happens to you, you can explore it and probably see that you had something to do with its taking place. You either created it, promoted it, or--at the very least--allowed it. (To remember the words create, promote, and allow, just remember C.P.A. = accountant = accountability.)

When looking for areas of accountability, please don't start with the biggest disaster of your life. Start with the daily slings and arrows that flesh is heir to. Looking for accountability is like exercise--don't try to run a marathon if, like me, you've been sedentary for twenty years (and supine the twenty years before that).

Pick a simple "it happened to me" event--misplacing your keys, the plumber not showing up, running out of gas--and see how you might have had something to do with creating, promoting, or allowing it to happen. Helpful hints:

1. Go back in time. We love to begin our "victim stories" at the point "it" starts happening to us--when the you-know-what hits the fan, and the fan is running. If you start at an earlier point, however, you see that you promised yourself to always put your keys in the same place but didn't, the plumber was not known for his reliability, and the low-gas indicator light on your car had been on for so long you thought your car was solar-powered.

2. What was I pretending not to know? What intuitive flashes did you ignore? "I'd better get some spare keys made," as you passed the hardware store a month ago? "This guy's not going to show," when you first spoke to the plumber? "I'd better get some gas," as you passed the thirty-fifth station since the gas-indicator light came on? We all pretend to know less than we really know.

Into all this comes a perfectly good word that has been given a bad rap--responsibility. Responsibility simply means the ability to respond. Most people, however, use it to mean blame: "Who's responsible for this!"

In any situation, we have the ability to respond, and our response will make the situation either better or worse. Whichever way it goes, we have the ability to respond again. And again. And again. By exercising our ability to respond, and watching the results closely, we can, if we choose, lift almost any situation.

One ability to respond we always have is how we react inside to what's going on outside. The world can be falling apart around us; that doesn't mean we have to fall apart ourselves. It's okay to feel good when things go bad.

True accountability has three parts. First, acknowledge that you have something to do with what's happened. Even if you're not sure what that might be, ask yourself, "How might I have created, promoted, or allowed this?" The answer may surprise you.

Second, explore your response options. In other words, become response-able.

Third, take a corrective action. The more accountability you found at the first step, the more corrective action you may want to take. On the other hand, your corrective action might be getting out of the way and letting those who are more accountable than you take care of things--if you spilt the glass of milk, clean up the milk; if a milk truck spills milk all over the highway, get off the highway.

And remember: you create, promote, or allow all the good things that happen to you, too.

Authors: John-Roger and Peter McWilliams