Another look at anger

The Two Faces of Anger: Guilt and Resentment

Guilt is anger directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others--at what they did or did not do.

The process of guilt and resentment is the same:

1- We have an image that either we or others should live up to. (An image of all the should's, must's, have-to's, and demands we learned or created about our own and/or others' behavior.)
2- We emotionally demand that we or others live up to this image.
3- We or they fail to live up to our image.
4- We judge the "contrary action" as wrong, bad, evil, wicked, etc.
5- We become emotionally upset--bitter, alienated, hurt, hostile, belligerent, combative, contentious, quarrelsome, vicious, touchy, cranky, cross, grouchy, testy, enraged, aggravated, annoyed, furious, teed-off, etc., etc. We'll put them all under the general umbrella of "angry."
6- We assign blame for the emotional upset--either we did it or they did it. (The judge pronounces sentence.)
7- The swift execution of justice. If we are to blame, we direct the anger toward ourselves, feeling regret, remorse, shame, repentance, culpability, fault--we'll call all that guilt. If the transgressor of our expectations was someone or something other than ourselves, we call our anger spite, jealousy, suspicion, malice, begrudging, covetousness, envy, indignation--all of which we'll call resentment. The sad fact is that, whether we blame us or them, we feel the hurt. But that is not considered, at least for long.
8- All of this continues for the prescribed length of time and intensity. No reprieves, no appeals--possible time off for very good behavior.

If these are the two faces of anger, what's the good in that? Frankly, not much.
~from Life 101

Every great mistake has
a halfway moment,
a split second when it
can be recalled and
perhaps remedied.
PEARL S. BUCK